I knew from the start of the trip that it would have a Bavarian flavour to it. Piloting a brand new BMW M3 Evolution from Kingston - just south of the river Thames - to La Sarthe in one quick controlled blast and then enduring no sleep, poor food and general smellyness for 48 hours. Yes, I know the race is only 24 but by the time you get there at 8am and leave and the following evening it feels like 48 believe me. The drive down was as pleasant as I could have hoped blue sky and 25'C following me across the continent. Having got acquainted with my new toy on the way down to the Shuttle, which once again proved to be a superior method of crossing the Channel, I used the initial (empty) stretch out of Calais towards Paris to breath a little life into the straight six, letting the 320 horse play for while. This thing is probably one of the quickest cars you can buy today, and almost certainly the most user-friendly. At a steady 130mph the wind simply parts momentarily to allow one to continue without noise or buffeting. The engine a distant hum, the tyres ( 245/40 R17 rears and 225/45 front) unobtrusive and the miles rushing by. Sure it doesn't have the presence of a super car on the out side lane, but with the lights on, very little proved unmoveable as I swept into Paris in just over an hour and a half. The most demoralising aspect of this particular route being that no matter how fast you go ( unless equipped with an F1 McLaren), you are constantly passed by the TGV which runs along (at 180mph) the adjacent track 200 meters on your right. Even at an indicated 150mph the shark nosed Euro-bullet eats you up laughing all the way as various travellers relax and tuck into omelettes and frites.
The M3, now in it's most potent form, provides for awe inspiringly hassle free journeys. Similar in concept to the NSX I drove a month ago, both attempt to whisk you (plus 3 mates in the beemer) to the destination of your choice as fast and comfortably as possible, all the while extolling the qualities for their existence; namely the gratification of their drivers. Both have huge reserves of power and grip and allow the occupants to enjoy everything that is best in modern motoring, the NSX may be ultimately more involving, as a one would expect from a mid engined super car, and expensive ($70,000 vs $38,000), but the M3 does it all for less, with more, and in an altogether more subtle way. No, the steering is not as precise as it should, and no doubt could be, the front wheels some how not communicating quite crisply enough, like talking into the phone with a handkerchief over your mouth, but once familiarised with the chassis and the way the car feels and performs, the BMW will get you where you're going very quickly indeed, it's abilities even more incredible when you consider that I had full wet weather gear in the boot (trunk),plus two duvets and two pillows and a brolly. Now try that in a F355! Although it was never called into serious action, the grip levels simply to high, the chassis to finely tuned, I found the car some what nervous over bumpy surfaces and at high speed, not nearly a match for the NSX which swallowed the same autoroute at 168mph and felt like it was riding on a giant pancake.
Calais to Le Mans was dispatched, without fuss, in 3 hours and 40 mins (about 475km/350miles) including getting lost around Paris which is par for the course and all part of visiting the place, like going up the Eithel tower, but without the view. The race itself you know about, one big extended beer festival. The winner (German, it was never going to be any other way) being the one who drank the least amount, fastest, and drove circles around his companions. BMW-V-Porsche. Porsche won the day, although not how they would have liked. The factory GT1 cars coming home in second and third, whilst a private entry from Joest racing leading from the first hour and, apart from pit stops, for the remaining 354 circuits of the 13.6 km track at an average speed of 200.600 kph. McLaren, who won so spectacularly on their first visit last year, resigned to 4th,5th,6th, 8th and 9th spots, with various handling and gearbox problems, even the great Derek Bell, who has won this automotive orgy five times, was sick on the day " too much Ribena mixed in with Coke and peaches, I started feeling very unwell half way through my stint, but I just couldn't stop". Don't cry for the Bavarians yet though, as Gordan Murray explained, "they've (Porsche) opened the flood gates and set a precedent for full blown ground up racers", that can only mean that the man behind the McLaren is already twitching his wrists into action on the design tables in Woking.
I decided at 2pm on the Sunday, that given the current state of affairs a hasty exit for the train was my best option. There's something very satisfying, a buzz if you like, to know that a journey has to be made, I always refer to it as a mission, rather than just driving, and that your car is something special, something that you'd drive the long way home rather than merely commuting. Well that was the feeling when I got into the M3, bloody hot as it was, ( how is it that you get air conditioning standard on a Daewoo for 10,000 and not on a 38,000 item?) shut the door and started off for the return trip to London of 500 miles. I didn't have a particular games plan just to drive consistently quick and get home in time to catch the end of the GP from Canada. 120,140,and even an indicated 160mph got me to the train into time for the 5.30 crossing. Of course you can do it faster but cruising is the whole idea and it's the average speed that counts. Lessons learnt? You bet ya!
Once again I over took and inturn wasted minutes at the peage (tolls). All you need in a dumb tourist who's either lost, or dropped their money and starts asking questions and that's it. All the traffic you just spent an hour flashing off the fast lane comes rolling past. There is no game plan, it's luck every time.
But, the big lesson is coppers, smoky's, bandits, call them what you like. The police are out to get the Brits, no question. You may have already read about my father, Frankl senior, getting practically arrested and fined big time for having a radar in his car. ( He was actually in the petrol station at the time with it switched off, but that didn't seem to matter.) Well I escaped, and that's the only word for it, not one but two radar traps on the last 75 miles of the run to Calais. Look out for dark coloured estate cars and little white boxes.
Dark coloured estate cars parked on the hard shoulder or in a lay by with their boots open facing the on coming traffic. They have massive cameras in the backs of them and are difficult to spot. If they're feeling particularly slimy then they pop the bonnet (hood) up as well so it looks like they have broken down. You sail past at 100 mph and the next thing you see is a large police van in the distance and loads of men with radios waving and smiling.
I was so happy to spot the afore mentioned bastard that I immediately called my father in Hungary to tell him. Little did I realise that the Frogs are really mean and must be completely pissed off at this BSE beef scandal, cos they went and set up an even more sneaky one just 20 miles down the motorway.
Closing at 110 and rounding a left corner I noticed a white box just beyond the barrier. Now never one to over react and slam on the anchors for the hell of it I continued until I could see the tripod feet of this box from hell, which stands only about 1.5 feet and about 1 foot wide. I hit the stop button so hard the ABS came on at 100, and by the time I went by, only 100 meters or so later I looked round and saw the fun bus parked up with two bewildered faces looking and wondering what the this rapidly decreasing object was. I thought that was it, but as I left the peage, two miles up the road, and looked over at the PC plods they just ignored me.
Oh thank you BMW for the best floating discs around.
BMW M3
PRICE: $36,500 + options.
ENGINE: 3201cc 24 valve
POWER: 321bhp/7400
GEAR BOX: six speed manual, rwd
WEIGHT: 1365kg
MAX SPEED: 155mph, limited
0-62 MPH: 5.5sec
FUEL CON: 25.7 MPG
